2. Watch for signs of heart problems
Providing a second set of eyes and ears may be the best way you can help a parent who has heart disease. Catching problems early can mean the potential for a better outcome.
Symptoms of heart problems may not be as obvious in older people. They may be subtler than chest pain. But if you know your parent’s health baseline, you may notice changes before a doctor – or in some cases – even your parent does.
Signs to be aware of, particularly if they appear suddenly, include:
- Do they seem fatigued? Are they sleeping more or longer?
- Does their breathing seem labored or “off”?
- Has their appetite declined?
- Is there increased swelling in the legs or ankles?
Your parent may not mention changes in their health. We often see in this in the “Greatest Generation.” They don’t want to be a bother. “It was just a little chest pain. I didn’t want to worry you.” Ask them direct questions about their health. For example, when I talk to my father, I ask, “How are you feeling, Dad? Anything bothering you?” And, include even more specific questions that relate to their personal health problems. For example, “How is your breathing today?”
3. Address potential heart problems
Don’t ignore warning signs. Encourage your parent to seek help, even if the symptom seems minor. Doing so could prevent a more dangerous situation.
Create a plan with your parent’s doctor to address potential problems. Ask the doctor:
- How can we reach you during the day or after hours?
- Do you offer same-day appointments?
- When should we go straight to the emergency room?
Knowing these answers can result in more streamlined and effective treatment. For example, a patient’s daughter may call and say, “Mom’s having some of the same symptoms she had previously when she was admitted to the hospital. But I think it’s too early to go to the ER. Can I bring her to the clinic?” We may be able to prevent an unnecessary hospital admission.
4. Assist with treatment, recovery and prevention efforts
Your parent’s doctor likely will send them home with a treatment and prevention plan. But there are all kinds of ways that a plan can be derailed. You can plan an important role in keeping their health plan on track.
- Track doctor appointments: Add your parent’s doctors’ appointments – or reminders to schedule appointments – to your personal calendar. This way you can help them remember and ensure they have transportation. If your parent agrees, join them at appointments as a second set of eyes and ears.
- Manage medications: Medication adherence is crucial in preventing secondary events. Your parent may get frustrated or confused if they are taking multiple medications. Make sure you understand the drug’s purpose, how and when to take it, the potential side effects, and when it needs to be refilled. And, don’t be afraid to ask if any medications can be safely stopped. This can help in several ways including helping control the number of pills your family member takes, and ensuring that each pill provides a meaningful health benefit. Find more tips to improve medication management.
- Monitor blood pressure: Blood pressure is a vital measurement we use to assess heart health. But sometimes, the readings may not be accurate during a doctor’s visit. The stress of being in a doctor’s office can cause blood pressure to rise, a condition we call “white-coat hypertension.” The doctor may recommend regular blood pressure monitoring at home. Learn how to monitor your blood pressure at home.
- Support lifestyle changes: Your parent may be asked to make significant changes in diet and exercise. Offer to help with grocery shopping or cooking. When possible, join them in diet changes or physical activity. The American Heart Association says people are 76 percent more likely to follow a walking program if someone is counting on them to show up.
5. Organize health-related records such as insurance, advance directives
Navigating health insurance plans can be confusing for anyone. But it may be especially difficult for your 85-year-old mother or father. Look at their plan and know what benefits are included. This can become useful, for example, to ensure they don’t defer care they should be getting.
Discuss your parent’s preferences regarding end-of-life-care. Who would they like to make medical decisions for them should they be unable, and which treatments would they want and not want? Although these conversations can be painful, they’re important decisions that will help ease the burden on the family should your parent’s condition worsen. Prepare an advance directive and make their wishes known to close family.
